All a bit much?

Feeling down, had kidney stone last week, plus cold, plus everything else... work is behind schedule, worrying whether I am being a lazy parent, specially towards Daniel. He's a very self-sufficient kid most of the time and is happy to play by himself for long periods of time... all he asks is that, if possible, we are in the same room! And so the pattern is that Maria who is much more demanding gets lots of attention and interaction while he plays by himself.

I am now beginning to worry about his pen-holding and drawing skills. Saw a "gallery" of self-portraits from all the kids in his room at nursery and his is the one that is furthest from resembling a human face... So I really want to make more time to sit down with him and draw, cut shapes... but I just don't seem to find that time!

And financial stress, we still owe lots of money from when we went horribly overbudget last year (renovating the house) and it is taking ages to begin to be able to pay it back. So we need to cut nanny's hours and have Maria more days at nursery. But the nanny hasn't found any other job yet and I really want her to be ok...

And it is that time of the month, I suppose, so everthing is looking a bit bleak!

Chin up!

Swiss chard and Iberian ham omelette

Husband out to work do, so made myself a treat, using swiss chard that came with the vegetable box and an Iberian ham end I got at a bargain price from the local deli...

1 small Iberian (or Serrano) ham piece, chopped small
Bunch of Swiss chard
6 eggs
1 or two cloves of garlic, peeled and chopped
Olive oil, one tablespoon

Prepare the Swiss chard: wash it well, separate the leaves from the thick stems and chop them. Drain the leaves well and scrunch them up so that they give up most of their water.
Heat up the olive oil in a non-stick frying pan and add the garlic.
Blanch the stems in boiling water for a few minutes.
When the garlic begins to turn a bit golden, turn the heat down and add the chard leaves and cook them until they become darker.
Add the stems and the chopped ham and stir a bit so it all gets nicely mixed.
Beat the eggs in a bowl and pour them over the mixture, keeping the heat low. Stir a bit so all the mixture gets covered with egg and let it cook for a few minutes. Using a very large plate or casserole lid, turn the omelette upside down so both sides get cooked. Let it cook for a few minutes, turn the heat off and let it rest for at least 10 minutes.
Enjoy! It's lovely with good quality bread that has been toasted, rubbed with garlic and a tomato and drizzled with good olive oil.

Lentil stew disaster

Cooked a lovely and health red lentil stew for the children, with onions, carrots, garlic, spinach and peas, with a bit of Garam Masala to get them used to spices... I felt so virtuous to be cooking something like that while working at the same time (the advantages of working from home...). But I don't think I have ever seen them so determined not to eat something! We managed to get Daniel to eat five spoonfuls, using bribery... Maria just spat it out...

I've realised that I have not been giving them many stews or soups, so that was an attempt to reddress that. Both Daniel and Maria used to really enjoy pureed lentil stews when they were babies. So, I will try again... Maybe I shouldn't give it to them when they get back from nursery, as they both have lots of mid-afternoon snacks, in there. I should starve them and then give it to them... how cruel!

Tonight they have chicken with a mushroom sauce served with pasta... I bet they'll go for that!

Back to England and banana loaf

Got back from Catalonia yesterday. It was a glorious holiday (although I was trying to work whenever grandparents were in control...). It was still really warm and the children paddled in the sea almost every day... the first weeks in October can be magical on the Catalan seaside. The family are in good form, my dad as attentive as ever, my mother has just started at uni to finish a degree she started years ago. She's a bit shocked at encountering "the youth of today", worrying about catching headlice from the dreadlocks of her classmates...

Maria seems to have accepted that breastfeeding is over and asks for it less and less, but she's refusing to take much milk from bottles and is waking up earlier than usual. My body seems to have understood as well and all's going back to normal (whatever normal is!).

So, back home, it's very cold but luckily today is a gentle sunny Autumn day and I'm enjoying working at the summerhouse, as it is South-facing the sun comes right in and the double glazing and insulation keep the heat inside.

Came back home to find lots of very ripe bananas, so just made a really sweet smelling banana, walnut and apricot loaf. Recipe based on Delia's but a few tweaks..

Banana, walnut and apricot loaf

4 ripe bananas
1 egg, beaten
220 gr. flour
2 level teaspoons baking powder
75 gr. sugar
75 gr. soft butter
Zest of one lemon
Handful of chopped walnuts
Handful of chopped dried apricots and raisins

Heat the oven up to 180 (centigrades). In a bowl, mix the sugar, butter and egg. Sift in the flour and baking powder and stir. It should be quite a dry mixture. Add the mashed banana and lemon zest and stir again. Add walnuts and dried fruit.
Pour mixture into a buttered loaf tin and cook in the oven for 45 to 50 minutes (check with a skewer to see if it's ready...). Enjoy!

The end of breastfeeding

Maria is 18 months old now. She has been very dedicated to breastfeeding since the minute she was born, still with her cord on. I had been meaning to stop earlier in the summer, once she had hit 15 months as that would have been the same as her brother but it just didn't happen. We both enjoyed it too much! It was such as special moment of closeness, specially on the days when I wouldn't see her all day due to work, at least we had that special time in the morning and the evening.

But I don't see myself breastfeeding a 4 year old... and there is this tale in my family of how my grandfather had to be sent to stay with relatives as a 4 year old to stop him breastfeeding. So last week I went on a work trip to Vienna, stayed there for three nights and didn't breastfeed her on return.

Eventhough it was my decision, and I know it makes sense for me, and other than the first couple of days since I got back she hasn't asked for it, I still feel really sad about it. I suppose it marks the end to my baby nurturing phase, I have spent the last four years and a half either breastfeeding or pregnant. And I don't think I will have other children, so this will be it.

Of course this is not the end of parenting and Daniel and Maria are developing into wonderful little people and they will still need me for a long while...

It doesn't help that it is quite painful at the moment, not the nicest reminder!

Writing from my beloved Catalonia at the moment... love the family, love the food, love the weather, love the friends...

Unfit children of working mothers... causes and effects???

Just read this article on the BBC News website:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/8278742.stm

So, our children are unfit!!!! Of course I cannot dispute the evidence, but I can certainly object to the implication, specially by this Netmums woman, that women shouldn't work if they had a choice! She said (according to the BBC): "With many more mums having no choice but to work these days and with government policy actively encouraging it, it is difficult to know how mums can do better".

It makes my blood boil! Reading the evidence in the paper, the problem is not that the mums work, but that their children are more likely to drink sugary drinks, eat junk food, walk less and watch lots of TV. This makes the children unfit, not the fact that the mothers work! I fully recognise, through my own experience, that it is much harder to make sure the children get enough exercise and eat good food when you work, specially as I work full time! And I know perfectly well how to do better: not buying sugary drinks at all (if you don't buy them the children can't drink it, easy!). Trying to be organised with food and thinking ahead, cook something on Sunday that will lend itself to lots of useful and nutritious left-overs for much of the week. And omelettes and fish fingers are really quick nutritious foods for when we haven't managed to cook something in advance! And getting out of the house whenever possible so they can run around...

I can really see how tempting it is to sit the children in front of the TV sometimes, specially as you get back home from work and you need a bit of time to sort things out before dinner... it's much easier to cook without Maria and Daniel trying to help me, but it can be done and they do learn from it, as they learn from "helping" me hang the washing. Nevermind, like sweet drinks, TV is really up to the parents to choose to turn it on or not, it doesn't turn on by itself!

So, I fully recognise how much harder it is to be a good parent when you work, and I try my best and it is tough, but please, do not present this as something you should only do if you had no choice! What about the contribution we working mothers make to the economy? I have accumulated great expertise in my area of work and this makes me very useful to policy makers here and in other countries... should I really give up on all of this when my children are very well looked after and happy (and certainly not obese, Daniel is way too skinny, if anything!).

Of course I can see that it is not perfect that we do not have that much time together, and some weeks are really tough. Ideally I would work less hours, and this is something I'm looking at for when Daniel starts school... but give up work when there is so much I can contribute? It is much better for my children to have a busy but happy mother than a stay at home mum who is frustrated and later in life blames them for having missed out on a career.

Shouldn't the blame be with the Government for not providing much pre-school childcare and not enough quality after-school clubs, especially sports?

Well, now that's off my chest I can go back to my wonderful work... ok, not that wonderful, specially today, but it is worthwhile and a worthy choice!

Is there any one out there?

I'm pretty sure that no one other than myself is reading this! Nevermind, still nice to write things that float about in cyberspace...

Back from wonderful (but tiring!) holiday in the Cornwall/Devon border with the family, and now snowed under with work. But about to go away for THREE NIGHTS to Vienna, leaving husband to look after the children...

The councillors approved the demolition. The whole thing stank! The official who presented the case to the councillors completely dismissed and missrepresented all the objections to the demolition. He pretty much said that it was a bunch of academics networking through the internet, not even mentioning a strong objection letter from the Victorian society. Thinking about what we can do next...

Save our Victorian heritage!!!!

I really was hoping to blog every day when I started, but in case children, work, housework weren’t enough, husband and I have been very busy trying to stop a large building in our neighbourhood (which is a conservation area) from being demolished and substituted for a mock Victorian pastiche with lots of small flats. I am writing just before a council meeting that is a last chance for the building and where a vote will be taken. And right now, there is nothing else we can do, other than start thinking about what to do if the councillors vote for demolition.

It all started about two years ago, when the building, which had not been cherished by its owners and was beginning to look a bit shabby, was sold to a developer who applied for planning permission to demolish it and build lots of flats instead and a couple of houses in the garden. The council turned down the proposal and most of us thought that would be the end of the matter. But then, in March this year the developers presented a new set of plans that the council officials had helped shape. And this, inexplicably, was approved, with six councillors voting against and eight in favour. But it turns out that all they approved were the new plans, not the demolition of a building in a conservation area. My husband spotted that and wrote a letter that has forced the council to take a new vote…

But the council has not told any of the local residents about this new vote, but thanks to husband and other committed people we’ve been gathering evidence of local opposition to the plans, as well as a letter from the Victorian Society that completely rubbishes the scheme… now we wish we had started the campaign earlier and had been more organised about it, but we never really set out to run this as a campaign, it was just a series of spontaneous acts motivated by outrage. We did leaflet the local neighbourhood this weekend and that alone generated at least twenty letters of objection, if we’d done this at a bigger scale, or a bit earlier maybe we would have had more letters.

Fingers crossed...

can crying ever be "controlled"?

Trying to change Maria's routine a bit and make it more nursery friendly, and mummy friendly too, I suppose! I'm trying to get her to have her afternoon nap in her cot and not in the buggy and on the move as she's used to. It is a bit late do do this at 17 months, I suppose. And she's not very keen, crying away as I write and try not to feel too awful about it. Just been to confort her (more for my benefit than hers, I think!) and each time she takes a little break in her crying I wonder if that's it and she'll actually relax and go to sleep... but no, so far. And it is so tempting to give in, take her out of the cot and put her in the buggy for a walk around the bloc!

Ok, resist, Alba, don't give in...

This morning she really made me laugh, I made pancakes for breakfast and everyone was enjoying them until someone called them "pancakes" and she started to say "cake"?, full of hope... I must remember to call them "crepes" next time.

And as I finished the sentence above, silence! She's gone! So off to do some baking as husband and Daniel are out!!!! Or some sleeping? Or some browsing catalogues of nice things I can't afford...? Or perhaps the washing-up...

yoghourt cake, "croquetes" and wuthering heights

Quite a long gap from first post, despite the very best intentions! It's been a good week, work ticking along and as almost everyone was on holiday so I felt quite virtous to be doing anything at all!

Watched Wuthering Heights the last couple of nights, a new adaptation on ITV1, I really don't know why anyone would even try to adapt such a book into such a short amount of screen time! It couldn't be more unsatisfying, so of course I now need to get the book and read it. I am grateful to these TV adaptations, thanks to them I have discovered Austen, Hardy, Thackeray... we didn't do them at school back home (there is a great deal of Catalan and Spanish literature to get through, you know?).

Last week and this week the nursery serves no lunches so I've been doing lunch packs for Daniel and Maria, an excuse to do lots and lots of chicken "croquetes"... I use the HF-W recipy but add very finely chopped red-peppers and aubergine to the onions to up the vegetable contents... as it's quite a struggle getting vegetables into Maria at the moment, she's learned to seal her lips, take off the bib and shout "get down" whenever anything she considers undesirable is offered! Luckily she is completely mad about summer fruit, can't have enough blueberries and raspberries.

And as part of my attempts to fatten the children up a bit, I rediscovered one of the most popular home baking recipes in Catalonia, the yoghourt cake. We used to make it every week with my mum and my brother... fond memories! The idea is that you use a small pot of yoghourt to measure all the ingredients.

Yoghurt cake:
1 small pot of yoghourt (I prefer Greek youghurt for this, but any natural yoghurt will be fine).
1 pot of yoghourt full of sunflower or mild olive oil
1 and half pot of yoghourt of sugar
3 eggs
3 pots full of plain flour
1 sachet baking powder (or about 15 grams)
aromatics: I use one or two teaspoons of cinnamon and the zest of a lemon, but could also use vanilla, or orange zest... can also add bits of apple...
Pre-heat the oven to 180C.
Mix all the ingredients in a bowl, stir well, pour into a good size cake tin and cook for about 35 to 45 minutes. Eat as it is, or cut in half and spread a layer of jam or lemon curd, decorate with fruit...

The first one

My name is Alba and I live in England by mistake (and I am a fan of Withnail too), it was never meant to be permament, I come from one of those places English people move to and features on "A Place in the Sun"... but here I am, married to an Englishman and the mother of two, Daniel (3 and 1/2) and Maria (1 and 1/2).
I am Catalan, which means that although I have a Spanish passport, my mother tongue is Catalan, but when you grow up in Catalonia you end up bilingual as Spanish language is everywhere too.
I am a working mother, but lucky that I have a very flexible job that allows me to work from home most of the week and steal moments with my children.
Someone told me how being a parent is all about guilt, and it is, guilt that I don't spend enough time with my children, guilt that I am not as dedicated to my job as I should be because I try to see my children more, because I don't pay my husband enough attention... and there is even more guilt: where I come from grannies are pretty muchy in charge of childcare and by living so far away I have deprived my mother of that role...
Trying to think how else I should introduce myself... I've said I am a Catalan working mother who feels guilty, I should really say that I feel awfully homesick too: there is so much to miss, clear skies, food, family, the landscapes... but I like England too, I like the buzz of London and the way there is always something unexpected to see, I do like English confort food (yes, when it is well made English food has nothing to be ashamed of!) and I appreciate a less judgemental society.
Enough for my first post!