All a bit much?

Feeling down, had kidney stone last week, plus cold, plus everything else... work is behind schedule, worrying whether I am being a lazy parent, specially towards Daniel. He's a very self-sufficient kid most of the time and is happy to play by himself for long periods of time... all he asks is that, if possible, we are in the same room! And so the pattern is that Maria who is much more demanding gets lots of attention and interaction while he plays by himself.

I am now beginning to worry about his pen-holding and drawing skills. Saw a "gallery" of self-portraits from all the kids in his room at nursery and his is the one that is furthest from resembling a human face... So I really want to make more time to sit down with him and draw, cut shapes... but I just don't seem to find that time!

And financial stress, we still owe lots of money from when we went horribly overbudget last year (renovating the house) and it is taking ages to begin to be able to pay it back. So we need to cut nanny's hours and have Maria more days at nursery. But the nanny hasn't found any other job yet and I really want her to be ok...

And it is that time of the month, I suppose, so everthing is looking a bit bleak!

Chin up!

Swiss chard and Iberian ham omelette

Husband out to work do, so made myself a treat, using swiss chard that came with the vegetable box and an Iberian ham end I got at a bargain price from the local deli...

1 small Iberian (or Serrano) ham piece, chopped small
Bunch of Swiss chard
6 eggs
1 or two cloves of garlic, peeled and chopped
Olive oil, one tablespoon

Prepare the Swiss chard: wash it well, separate the leaves from the thick stems and chop them. Drain the leaves well and scrunch them up so that they give up most of their water.
Heat up the olive oil in a non-stick frying pan and add the garlic.
Blanch the stems in boiling water for a few minutes.
When the garlic begins to turn a bit golden, turn the heat down and add the chard leaves and cook them until they become darker.
Add the stems and the chopped ham and stir a bit so it all gets nicely mixed.
Beat the eggs in a bowl and pour them over the mixture, keeping the heat low. Stir a bit so all the mixture gets covered with egg and let it cook for a few minutes. Using a very large plate or casserole lid, turn the omelette upside down so both sides get cooked. Let it cook for a few minutes, turn the heat off and let it rest for at least 10 minutes.
Enjoy! It's lovely with good quality bread that has been toasted, rubbed with garlic and a tomato and drizzled with good olive oil.

Lentil stew disaster

Cooked a lovely and health red lentil stew for the children, with onions, carrots, garlic, spinach and peas, with a bit of Garam Masala to get them used to spices... I felt so virtuous to be cooking something like that while working at the same time (the advantages of working from home...). But I don't think I have ever seen them so determined not to eat something! We managed to get Daniel to eat five spoonfuls, using bribery... Maria just spat it out...

I've realised that I have not been giving them many stews or soups, so that was an attempt to reddress that. Both Daniel and Maria used to really enjoy pureed lentil stews when they were babies. So, I will try again... Maybe I shouldn't give it to them when they get back from nursery, as they both have lots of mid-afternoon snacks, in there. I should starve them and then give it to them... how cruel!

Tonight they have chicken with a mushroom sauce served with pasta... I bet they'll go for that!

Back to England and banana loaf

Got back from Catalonia yesterday. It was a glorious holiday (although I was trying to work whenever grandparents were in control...). It was still really warm and the children paddled in the sea almost every day... the first weeks in October can be magical on the Catalan seaside. The family are in good form, my dad as attentive as ever, my mother has just started at uni to finish a degree she started years ago. She's a bit shocked at encountering "the youth of today", worrying about catching headlice from the dreadlocks of her classmates...

Maria seems to have accepted that breastfeeding is over and asks for it less and less, but she's refusing to take much milk from bottles and is waking up earlier than usual. My body seems to have understood as well and all's going back to normal (whatever normal is!).

So, back home, it's very cold but luckily today is a gentle sunny Autumn day and I'm enjoying working at the summerhouse, as it is South-facing the sun comes right in and the double glazing and insulation keep the heat inside.

Came back home to find lots of very ripe bananas, so just made a really sweet smelling banana, walnut and apricot loaf. Recipe based on Delia's but a few tweaks..

Banana, walnut and apricot loaf

4 ripe bananas
1 egg, beaten
220 gr. flour
2 level teaspoons baking powder
75 gr. sugar
75 gr. soft butter
Zest of one lemon
Handful of chopped walnuts
Handful of chopped dried apricots and raisins

Heat the oven up to 180 (centigrades). In a bowl, mix the sugar, butter and egg. Sift in the flour and baking powder and stir. It should be quite a dry mixture. Add the mashed banana and lemon zest and stir again. Add walnuts and dried fruit.
Pour mixture into a buttered loaf tin and cook in the oven for 45 to 50 minutes (check with a skewer to see if it's ready...). Enjoy!

The end of breastfeeding

Maria is 18 months old now. She has been very dedicated to breastfeeding since the minute she was born, still with her cord on. I had been meaning to stop earlier in the summer, once she had hit 15 months as that would have been the same as her brother but it just didn't happen. We both enjoyed it too much! It was such as special moment of closeness, specially on the days when I wouldn't see her all day due to work, at least we had that special time in the morning and the evening.

But I don't see myself breastfeeding a 4 year old... and there is this tale in my family of how my grandfather had to be sent to stay with relatives as a 4 year old to stop him breastfeeding. So last week I went on a work trip to Vienna, stayed there for three nights and didn't breastfeed her on return.

Eventhough it was my decision, and I know it makes sense for me, and other than the first couple of days since I got back she hasn't asked for it, I still feel really sad about it. I suppose it marks the end to my baby nurturing phase, I have spent the last four years and a half either breastfeeding or pregnant. And I don't think I will have other children, so this will be it.

Of course this is not the end of parenting and Daniel and Maria are developing into wonderful little people and they will still need me for a long while...

It doesn't help that it is quite painful at the moment, not the nicest reminder!

Writing from my beloved Catalonia at the moment... love the family, love the food, love the weather, love the friends...