Back to England and banana loaf

Got back from Catalonia yesterday. It was a glorious holiday (although I was trying to work whenever grandparents were in control...). It was still really warm and the children paddled in the sea almost every day... the first weeks in October can be magical on the Catalan seaside. The family are in good form, my dad as attentive as ever, my mother has just started at uni to finish a degree she started years ago. She's a bit shocked at encountering "the youth of today", worrying about catching headlice from the dreadlocks of her classmates...

Maria seems to have accepted that breastfeeding is over and asks for it less and less, but she's refusing to take much milk from bottles and is waking up earlier than usual. My body seems to have understood as well and all's going back to normal (whatever normal is!).

So, back home, it's very cold but luckily today is a gentle sunny Autumn day and I'm enjoying working at the summerhouse, as it is South-facing the sun comes right in and the double glazing and insulation keep the heat inside.

Came back home to find lots of very ripe bananas, so just made a really sweet smelling banana, walnut and apricot loaf. Recipe based on Delia's but a few tweaks..

Banana, walnut and apricot loaf

4 ripe bananas
1 egg, beaten
220 gr. flour
2 level teaspoons baking powder
75 gr. sugar
75 gr. soft butter
Zest of one lemon
Handful of chopped walnuts
Handful of chopped dried apricots and raisins

Heat the oven up to 180 (centigrades). In a bowl, mix the sugar, butter and egg. Sift in the flour and baking powder and stir. It should be quite a dry mixture. Add the mashed banana and lemon zest and stir again. Add walnuts and dried fruit.
Pour mixture into a buttered loaf tin and cook in the oven for 45 to 50 minutes (check with a skewer to see if it's ready...). Enjoy!

The end of breastfeeding

Maria is 18 months old now. She has been very dedicated to breastfeeding since the minute she was born, still with her cord on. I had been meaning to stop earlier in the summer, once she had hit 15 months as that would have been the same as her brother but it just didn't happen. We both enjoyed it too much! It was such as special moment of closeness, specially on the days when I wouldn't see her all day due to work, at least we had that special time in the morning and the evening.

But I don't see myself breastfeeding a 4 year old... and there is this tale in my family of how my grandfather had to be sent to stay with relatives as a 4 year old to stop him breastfeeding. So last week I went on a work trip to Vienna, stayed there for three nights and didn't breastfeed her on return.

Eventhough it was my decision, and I know it makes sense for me, and other than the first couple of days since I got back she hasn't asked for it, I still feel really sad about it. I suppose it marks the end to my baby nurturing phase, I have spent the last four years and a half either breastfeeding or pregnant. And I don't think I will have other children, so this will be it.

Of course this is not the end of parenting and Daniel and Maria are developing into wonderful little people and they will still need me for a long while...

It doesn't help that it is quite painful at the moment, not the nicest reminder!

Writing from my beloved Catalonia at the moment... love the family, love the food, love the weather, love the friends...